Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Slacking or not?

Okay maybe it was a little of both.

For those of you who maybe aren't so local or haven't heard my body has been waging quite the battle against me. My mom started a blog when I got sick and the chronicles can be found here.

I was admitted to the hospital on the 27th of Dec.

Basically I got sick, tried to tough it out and ended up with double pneumonia which then turned into a gummy, gooey mess on one side. There were, ventilators, surgeries, tears, and prayers. Then I woke up from my sedation. It's a little fuzzy for me, some where around the 6th of January is where my memories actually start. So I really only know about the last five days of my hospital stay and the first couple of those I was still heavily drugged, and was having some very.....creative, yeah , that's the word, creative thoughts.

I'm getting a little better every day.

I got out of the hospital yesterday and am looking forward to recovery and getting back to normal life.

I miss running. I miss soccer.

I miss my muscle. It's gone, ALL gone. It's amazing how laying in a bed for 15 days completely destroys your body. I feel like this isn't even mine, some one switched it out with a weaker, less healthy version. Stairs SUCK.

I miss breathing deep, those lung muscles of mine are also missing. I guess it was the ventilator days on end there....

I've made it through the hard part. For a couple days they didn't know if I would actually survive. I guess at one point they told Ben to think of what he would want the kid's last memories of me to be. I feel horrible for that. I know I didn't wish myself sick, but I feel so bad that my family (husband, parents, brother, grandparents, friends) had to go through all of that. I don't remember a shred of it but I'm sure they will never forget.

Hopefully you will be hearing from me a little more frequently, I even have a few hospital pictures thanks to my dad, I'll work on getting those from him.

11 comments:

Misty said...

So glad you are back to blogging. I actually tried to hack into your blog while you were out because you had given me your password and email when you were just barely starting it. That way the people that knew you through blog world would know. but, it didn't work! my blog hacking skills are seriously lacking! =) I love you and am relieved the worst is over! See you soon!

Keli said...

So very glad to be reading your blog again! Jenae called and told me how sick you were...and me recovering from surgery I could not fast for you!! I felt so helpless!! Jenae gave me the idea to fast sugar, and that I did! I fasted sugar from the day Jenae told me, to the day you got off the venilator!! No small feat! LOL!! No worries, the day you got off the venilator I celabrated big time...and made up for lost time! :) I am so grateful that you are home, and that you are feeling better! Keep up the fight!

Mindi said...

what THE????!!!

i can't believe this! i didn't know--i hope you are okay!

i am going to read your mom's blog now--email me at mrclove@infowest.com--i haven't got mindi.word@yahoo.com in service right now.

xoxo

Brits said...

I'm so glad you're doing better! There were a lot of tears/prayers on our end.

Alanna said...

I am so glad that you are back to blogging and on the mend! I remember when I herad the news and it was shocking. I couldn't (didn't want to) believe it. So relieved to hear that you are home!!

irmaJ said...

Was good to see you back on your blog and on FB.... we miss your wonderful posts.... Wouldn't it be fun to be able to remember the thoughts and dreams you had while on those meds? THAT would make some really GOOD blogging material.
Yes, there was LOTS of tears and prayers for you, but I wouldn't expect anything less from people who care about you.
Much love and Hugs! Do you remember me coming to pray for you?

Sarah said...

It is nice to have you back! It was so hard seeing you on the breathing tube and then it just seemed like one thing after another was going wrong. We just kept hoping and praying that things would finally start looking up. And thank goodness they did! It seems crazy that we spent so much time there at the hospital while you were "asleep", and now that you are awake I have hardly seen you. I know you need alot of rest and have been trying not to bother you. But I am constantly wondering how you are doing. Love you Nicole!

Jenni said...

Glad to see you're out of the hospital and blogging. You can't run, you can't play soccer, you might not even be able to do stairs, but at least you can blog and facebook!

Carly said...

I too am so glad that you are doing so much better. I'm sure Ben and your kids are so happy to have you out of the hosptial. I hope you get stronger everyday! You have been in our prayers and thought's daily! I'm so glad you are doing better!
Carly

Rachel said...

So glad you're back Nicole!!!! Great to hear from YOU! I'm sure I can speak for just about anyone when I say I know our prayers were answered, keep on getting better!

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